The Secret is Out – Mrs Finntastic Finally Confesses

The secret is out. Well, it really wasn’t much of a secret for many of you, but anyhow, Mrs Finntastic’s identity has been revealed after a few near misses! It all started a few weeks ago. Over the last year I have been taking a lot of pictures of a big beautiful red lightvessel (LV21) that is moored…

How to Annoy Your Teenager – Tips from an Evil Finnish Mum

I admit it, I enjoy annoying my teenager. In my defence though, this is only payback for all those years of having to live with the rolling eyes, loud sighs and comments like “Are you stupid?” So how do you annoy a teenager? Here are my best tips. Act immaturely. I love playing Hide and…

Why Finnish Mums are Scarier Than Other Mums

“You’re not like other mums, you’re scary” my darling son said to me, aged about 9 at the time, whilst comparing me to British mums. Whereas I possibly should have been offended by his off the wall comment, I took it as a huge compliment. After all, it meant I was doing a good job being a Finnish…

When a Fat Bitch Steals Your Identity

We have an unwanted guest in our house and I am literally fuming! This woman has moved in totally unnoticed and without even being invited! She treats my house like it’s hers and has replaced my smaller size clothes with her new frumpy size 16 ones, which now fill my wardrobe! Night time she drinks…

Three Pigeons and A Wedding Present

We have made it without Brexit! Well, that is hubby and I, who celebrated our Silver Wedding Anniversary last month! When hubby and I first met in 1986 at the famous Queen concert, I don’t think either of us could have imagined celebrating 25 years of marriage many years later in sunny Gravesend! We made a decision to celebrate…

When a Killer Calls

What would you do if a murderer knocked on your front door at ten o’clock at night? Well, we let him into our house, lent him a golf flight bag and wished him a good holiday. You see, at that time, we didn’t know he was a killer. He was just a fellow member at…

Confessions of a Romantic Trip with a Farting Finn

Have you ever looked at other people’s holiday pictures and felt envy? The happy couples smiling, the wonderful destinations, whilst you are at home, doing mundane things and nagging with your other half? Well, if you haven’t felt envy, congratulations! You are a far better person than I am! So never did I imagine that…

When an Expat Turns Into an Idiot – Visiting Your Native Country

I have noticed lately that I have become an idiot. This might come as a surprise to some of you, but probably not to most…This time I am referring to whenever I’m visiting my former home country, Finland. It has crept on to me without me realising. Admittedly I don’t visit Finland that much anymore,…

Funny Songs and Funerals

Have you chosen your funeral songs yet? I have! This week I went to a beautiful funeral of a fellow Finn expat who had reached the mature age of 93. The service was lovely, but what really tipped me over the edge was the choice of music, and when the choir started singing the Finlandia…

How to Avoid Divorce from a Finnish Wife

Multicultural marriages are always tricky and sometimes I wonder how we have made it this far, celebrating our silver wedding anniversary next year. On paper, a Finn and a Brit aren’t too different, but reality is that there will always be clashes so I have decided to share my top tips of how to avoid…

Back Spasms and Dirty Phone Calls

Sitting in the Physiotherapy waiting room at my local hospital last week made me think how lucky I am to “only” have a shoulder problem. I have no broken bones, or even worse, I have not got a severe back problem. I had never appreciated how painful and life debilitating a back problem can be,…