You know how they say that threats never work on children? Well I’d like to contest that! You see, I have come up with the best ever threat – The Finnish Army!!!!
I’m not sure if some of you are aware of the fact that we still have mandatory National Service in Finland lasting between 6-12 months? And with our Russian neighbour Mr Putin re-opening some military bases near the Finnish border, it is unlikely that national service will be scrapped anytime soon. As a matter of fact, last month 900,000 Finnish men (reservists) were sent a letter, stating where they would be stationed in case of an emergency.
I take my hat off to the young Finnish men who enter their national service every year, skiing for hundreds of miles in the bitter winter and camping in the woods at -40 C. I have seen many young men enter the army as sulky teenagers with an attitude problem, only to emerge as young mature and sensible men a year later, ready to defend their country at any cost.
So, lately when my 17-year old teenager started to show a bit of attitude, I decided to bring up the subject of the Finnish Army. Although he has never held a Finnish passport, he has actually got Finnish nationality through me. Therefore, he should technically get a call up next year when he turns 18! As a dual citizenship holder (British and Finnish) he is likely though to be exempt and as I understand, all you have to do is to write a letter to the Finnish Army in response of your call up.
So this is where my evil masterplan has kicked in! Nowadays every time I get a rude answer, raised eyebrows or looks like I’m the most idiotic mum in the world, I just simply whisper to the teenager in a quiet voice: “I might forget to write that letter, hope you enjoy your year in the Finnish Army. “
You have been warned – don’t mess with an Evil Finnish Mum!
Read more about Finnish National Service conscription here